Greetings from an Olympic Champion!

Dear all,

My absence from this pages in your eyes probably was inexcusable. My reaction to that is plain and simple: sod off! :P

The last month I have been on a dangerous journey where I encountered huge ugly looking monsters, timer booby traps and had fear of the unknown and the unexpected. I had to face gigantic mountains and find a safe path through abysses and singing Sirens who sang beautiful, attractive music or pretended to. I had to save up all my food as I did not know at the time if I would have enough for this long, burdensome trip. The two reindeers I took with me tasted well, especially made with a honey or cranberry sauce but the taste bored me after a bit. A logical consequence of an eaten reindeer was that I had to wear my backpack myself … probably a result of the height which led my brain have hardly enough air to survive, let alone think logically. I stupidly lend my oxygen mask to a friend who is taking another route up. So, two good hints for my colleague mountaineers: a) don’t lend your stuff to friends and b) take a reindeer and a mule for better taste (pre-cooked stuff might do but it is less adventurous).

Yes, dear reader… whilst you were enjoying your Pepsi Max, your twiglets and were glazing at the computer screen, fattening every minute you didn’t move (aka at least 300 grams a day), Sipwell was enduring pain, stress, exhaustion, anxiety and a lot of other problems (like a horrible cheese smell as I stopped on my way up for a Swiss cheese sandwich, which accompanied me for too long). He is exhausted, has pain everywhere (but abducted one of the sirens, a nice looking blonde one who gave him already a couple of massages, but refused hitherto to give a Thai one) and is still a bit groggy.

But, I am back and here to stay. Unless I got tempted to engage in another fierce journey… You may or may not read new posts from my hands the coming weeks. I can finally tell you how life is like if you are a level 99. I will inform you on all the extra features you get as a level 99, like the secret handshake, the 70 virgins and the unlimited fruit juice running out of your computer (PS just sent me my personal, inscribed tap to put on my USB stick). But that is for another post. As for now, I am off to bed not to be seen for a couple of days…

…yes dear, I am coming!

Sirens are tiresome creatures… as are virgins.