What do Members Have to do to get into The Marx Brothers?

More than you think! The Marx Brothers is a heavy duty clan, they are the batteries of the machine called the clan system. But we didn't get that way overnight. In case you didn't know, the strength of the Marx Brothers clan does not come from our stunning name and motto. No, our strength comes from our members. The members are the juice of the batteries for the Marx Brothers clan, so you can imagine that we just don't take anyone.

Lenar, for example was reduced to crying and begging to our founding fathers, as they were concerned about his body odor problems and of course, his sock issues. You can see what he was doing on the left (Yes, this is an example, that isn't really Lenar as there were no photographers present). Eventually they gave him the privelage to join our brotherhood (With one sister) because of how great of a user he was on powerchallenge. If Lenar could barely get in... Then how high of barriers do we really have for this clan? Yes, what you see is our normal requirements, but believe me, there is much, much more than that.






The only ones who get freebees are MAs, because our founding fathers know them well enough to completely trust them and know that the MAs are smart enough to write good blog posts :P The Marx Brothers are proud to announce that we are the home of... Get ready... 7 MAs. That's more than 50% of the MAs on the admins team! Yes, that's right, now bow your heads in admiration to some of the biggest contributors in powersoccer. I also got a freebee because of my great charisma and wit :P. I can't blame them!

So now that the freebees are done, Let's get to the tough stuff. You won't believe what the Marx Brothers endure in a day of "Qualifying" for the clan. It is truely unbelievable. We followed Heddwch through the long journey and saw how much trouble it endured. There is a line up of 5 tasks that the founding fathers required to gain a spot on the Marx roster. Each task increased in difficulty and only the best made it through. And believe me, not everyone makes it through. Out of the 597 users who tried to get in, only the current members passed every task. And more than half didn't even get passed the first one! Ready? Set? Wait... Your not? Well it's too late now, it's time to see what the Marx brothers do to get in. GO!

Task 1: Outsmart Sipwell

OK... Maybe this isn't overly difficult, but we will give sipwell a little bit of credit, he's a pretty smart dude. So to get into the Marx Brothers, you have to be smarter than the dumbest member of the Marx Brothers (All of the other members are smarter than him since they all made it through! And we know Christine is..). The way they did this was through a game of chess. Chess is about the best way to measure wit as it takes more than just strategy to win. You must predict the next move, both on attack and on defense. In chess there is no room for error, because one error usually puts your whole game in danger. Sipwell is very hard to beat in chess. When he is sitting across from you with his three foot tall stack of strategy books and a mean look on his face, you can't help but laug- I mean, cower in fear. The games almost dead quiet. Each player intensely focussing on their next move. The games last 45 minutes to an hour and a half on average, but when Bigdaddyat sat across from sip ready to play (he was not an MA at the time), the game lasted 5 minutes. Although beating sipwell is tough, it is possible, which is why many made it through.

Passing Percentage: 47%

Task 2: Beat Christine in a staring contest

Since nobody can beat Christine in chess, it was only fair to make this task a bit easier. Not that it is very easy. To beat Christine in a staring contest takes an intense amount of focus. Staring at her would be easy for most men to do. But staring into her eyes is a diferent story, because once you make contact with them it is very hard to look away. Half the people who didn't pass this task later went mad. Yes, it's that intense. It almost becomes a crying contest, because you have to keep your eyes open so long, that your eyes start to form tears because you haven't blinked. To get Christine to blink, you have to do more than just sare at her longer. You need to do things to distract her, which is a very hard thing to do. Davidbea, our most recent member, had to do several magic tricks to force Christine to budge. Lenar had no trouble though, as he just showed her his socks and she feinted. Many tactics had to be done, and it is a very big feat to come out of that room with a smile on your face. One of our attemptors looked like this:


Passing Percentage: 41% of the passers from task 1.

Task 3: Write a Marx-like post

So, who thinks it is easy to write a Marx Brothers post? If you think it is, you've thought wrong. Marx Brothers posts are like no other, as they flow out so well you almost look up and think, "This is a blog not a book! Or is it?..." Marx Brothers put everything they have into every post. Some work all night to "Git'r dun" and many times we throw our post away and start from scratch. The wannabe MB has a very tough task ahead of them when they reach this stage, and some just can't do it. I know you might have seen this video before, but the kid in this video is not playing a computer game, he is actually just in utter frustration as he attempts to write a Marx-like post on one of his own blogs. Lucky for us, he was not going through the tasks, he was just trying to mimic the greatness of a Marx post. Constantly clicking and typing to make things write. Sadly, he just couldn't do it, which made him very frustrated. Click the play button at your own risk, and I hope you don't get too scared.



Many Marx contestants ended up like this, until they found out that their water was drugged and fell asleep. Don't worry, they are alright, besides a few broken bones and spirits. It is hard to make it through this trial, and that's why few do.


Passing percentage: 23% of passers from Task 2.

Task 4: Read the ENTIRE Marx Brothers Blog

That's right. And it keeps getting harder. This could very well be task 5, as it is equaly as hard. 138 (and counting) posts await you, ready to pounce. In this task, you are required to read the entire blog without rest. Fire up the cofee machine, because your going to need it. How hard can it be? You ask? Let me just say, I hope you have a lot of tolerance, because so much wit is going to be thrown at you your head is in danger of exploding. No, It's not a joke.

The passers from task 3 know how much work it takes for a good MB post, so they then know how hard it is going to be to read a ton of Marx Brothers posts. It is a seemingly impossible task, but is possible for the current members and a few lucky ones. But for some, it just isn't! Some were found mumbling random words out loud about 40 posts through. Words like "Cupcakes" and "Sugarpops". While it is normal to hear Sipwell doing this, it is not normal for most people. Others simply fell asleep and did not wake up for several weeks. Then others were seen to be doing things from putting makeup on their noses to coloring the computer screen pink. As indicated, reading these posts is enough to drive one mad. Which is why only the most patient and smart make it through.

Passing Percentage: 14% of passers from Task 3.

Task 5: Climb Mt. Marx | The big one.

That's right, all Marx Brothers are fit as well. In case you are a new subscriber, you might need to remember what Mt. Marx looks like. So here it is! Be afraid, be very afraid.
Cowering in fear yet? No? Well then let me fill you in on this task. You will be dropped off via helicopter on the shore of the river. Yes, on the other side of the river. Then you must swim across the large river, which is infested with piranhas I might mention, over to the other side. The piranhas do not bite, but they swarm around you, almost forming a suit around your body. Once you feel the brush of one, chills will go down your spine and you will question why you even attempted to join the Marx Brothers. You will think about all the work you did to get to this task and how it just wasn't worth it to do more. The cold touch of the piranhas is enough to drive you insane. Luckily, trained scuba divers with floaties are waiting to save you if you get to afraid, or just get too tired. This was almost too much for duke4 (another one who was not an MA at the time), who began to wonder about his family, what they would think if he quit... or died. When your out there in the water, you really start to wonder how safe you really are. Duke made it though, and so did some others, but the trip had just begun.

When the survivors climb out of the water, they grasp for breath, knowing that they needed some as there was more to come. They started feeling comfortable, until they realize that they are sinking. Yes, the green mossy material has a quicksand effect, which means the MB hopefuls must think fast or go home. The average time elapsed for the ones who make it through is over an hour. The path is very tough, it is a slow and dangerous process, some are left with disbelief at how hard every step is. This is what makes Marx Brothers, their willingness to go on, the drive that they have when they do things. They go all out, and nothing less.

The ones who somehow finish this have a bigger challenge yet to come. To do what the title says, to climb Mt. Marx. Competitors must avoid the many vines in the dirt, climb through the 10 feet high bushes despite the pokes and pricks. Try doing that every step! But the blood spewing out of their body is the least of their troubles. Navigating the mountain is the toughest part. Try being blindfolded in a giant maze. That is what it is like. This is why only the true Marx Brothers emerge out of the bushes on the top of the mountain, only the true ones have the sense of the finish line, the knowledge of where the prize is. They almost have a map in their mind, but they also need the muscle, as everyone in your body is being used in this tough climb. If you lose your footing once, your done. You will slide all the way down the mountain, crashing and tumbling to the bottom. Your dreams failed, it is all over. A sad fate, but then you will realize how the Marx Brothers just weren't meant for you, and it made sense. The ones who have enough strenth to finally pull themselves up to the summit don't even have enough energy to smile. But it was a job well done, as the brave ones have gained admission to the Marx Brothers, and have also gained the right to sleep.

Through four other tasks they made it. They beat Sipwell in chess, Christine in a starting contest. They even managed to write a Marx Brothers post! Somehow, they managed to read the entire Marx Brothers blog, and complete one of the most toughest tasks you could accomplish, to climb Mt. Marx, the eigth wonder of the world. They can have pride in shouting, I AM A MARX BROTHER! into the night, as they very well deserve to.

Still think you can join?

Good luck!