Some people have come to Sipwell and asked him how it comes that the best powersoccer blog of the best powersoccer clan goes untouched for several weeks. People need their daily dose of MB-methadon to survive the boredom they are confronted with on daily basis. Apart from apologizing for our apparent laziness, there is not much I could do. I try to regularly “dribble” a blog post into these fine pages, mostly to show off my perfect mastering of the reality around me… But what about the others?
Let’s find out, in a series of some articles, what is holding them back. Let’s start, today and tomorrow, with our the flying Dutchman, gentle_man_
As most of you guys probably know, gentle_man_ is Dutch. It is quite surprising that we don’t see him often on these pages, especially since it is one of the major characteristics of Dutchmen to “want to be heard” and to talk and talk and talk and talk. Holland probably is the only country in the world where talk shows on television start at 7AM and end at 12PM. They talk and talk and talk and talk and talk in their favourite type of program, the talk show. Saturday evening, prime time: what do you expect as a television watcher? Right: a top movie, one/two years old, Oscar winner. In Holland you get … a talk show. So it is quite surprising that gentle_man_ hasn’t, until now, translated that urge to talk, that meaning of orange life, into blog posts. I discovered why.
Gentle_man_ is what we might describe as a job-hopper. He is collecting titles. From babysitter over shoe salesman to CEO of a major company, he has done it all. His curriculum vitae reads like a science fiction novel: it is unbelievable yet you are caught up in a fantastic story. Just before the Christmas holidays, gentle_man_ looked for and found a new challenge… And that is where the trouble began.
Holland is as flat as Angelina Jolie her belly (yet not as pretty). On a bright day, you can see from the beginning of Holland the end of Holland. Although Holland is densely populated, they still have large strips of uninhabited land, where animals walk around freely (and talk, talk, talk, as they are Dutch). Somebody in Hilversum (the television hub, where all the major broadcasters work and where all television companies have their offices) decided they needed a new Saturday evening pre-talk show program. It would be a program where they followed a bunch of rabbits in their natural habitat and described their feelings. An off-screen voice would translate the actual “rabbitish” into Dutch, so the audience could have an idea what rabbits thought and did. They needed an experienced photographer. Enter gentle_man_. Although he never saw a camera from close by in his life and he thought “cut” was a Dutch swear word, he got himself the job. …
Gentle_man_ thought it might be a good idea to dress up as a rabbit. The animals would feel more at ease, he would be able to get closer to them to film them (“lenses? Never heard of them!”) and the end result would be touching cinema. He would think as a rabbit and act as a rabbit. And that is when the real trouble began…
… dressed up in his rabbit costume, armed with his camera Gentle_man_ went to the Dutch moorlands to film the life of rabbits. The rabbits were watching this new intruder enter their territory: was it a human? It didn’t look like one. Was it a wolf or a fox? No, it was walking on two feet only… All of a sudden, the oldest rabbit of the heep said: “He has returned.” All the younger rabbits (hundreds of them) asked: who is “He” and looked at Great Granddad Rabbit. GG Rabbit told the story of Rabbit God, a Giant Rabbit that was worshipped by all the rabbits of the moor. The Giant Rabbit sat motionless on a throne for days in a row, whilst all the rabbits brought him carrots and, if they got lucky, a turnip. One day, when all the rabbits were preparing themselves for a feast, the throne was empty. They looked for days, weeks… but the Giant Rabbit was gone. At that point, they swore an oath that if he ever were to return to the moorlands, they would never let him go again. He was too important for the community. They would guard him, they would perhaps even “cage” him. He was never to leave again.
And there he was, gentle_man_ dressed like a giant rabbit. Rumour has it gentle_man_ is still sitting motionless on a throne, with his personal Rabbit Guard consisting out of 5000 heavily armed rabbits (with teeth as sharp as razor blades). The broadcaster that would air the show decided to air a new talkshow instead, the television company making it has gone bankrupt. Gentle_man_ is kept prisoner by a large collection of bunnies… The question is: how long will he sit there? And, perhaps more importantly: who will our Dutchman talk to?
Let’s find out, in a series of some articles, what is holding them back. Let’s start, today and tomorrow, with our the flying Dutchman, gentle_man_
As most of you guys probably know, gentle_man_ is Dutch. It is quite surprising that we don’t see him often on these pages, especially since it is one of the major characteristics of Dutchmen to “want to be heard” and to talk and talk and talk and talk. Holland probably is the only country in the world where talk shows on television start at 7AM and end at 12PM. They talk and talk and talk and talk and talk in their favourite type of program, the talk show. Saturday evening, prime time: what do you expect as a television watcher? Right: a top movie, one/two years old, Oscar winner. In Holland you get … a talk show. So it is quite surprising that gentle_man_ hasn’t, until now, translated that urge to talk, that meaning of orange life, into blog posts. I discovered why.
Gentle_man_ is what we might describe as a job-hopper. He is collecting titles. From babysitter over shoe salesman to CEO of a major company, he has done it all. His curriculum vitae reads like a science fiction novel: it is unbelievable yet you are caught up in a fantastic story. Just before the Christmas holidays, gentle_man_ looked for and found a new challenge… And that is where the trouble began.
Holland is as flat as Angelina Jolie her belly (yet not as pretty). On a bright day, you can see from the beginning of Holland the end of Holland. Although Holland is densely populated, they still have large strips of uninhabited land, where animals walk around freely (and talk, talk, talk, as they are Dutch). Somebody in Hilversum (the television hub, where all the major broadcasters work and where all television companies have their offices) decided they needed a new Saturday evening pre-talk show program. It would be a program where they followed a bunch of rabbits in their natural habitat and described their feelings. An off-screen voice would translate the actual “rabbitish” into Dutch, so the audience could have an idea what rabbits thought and did. They needed an experienced photographer. Enter gentle_man_. Although he never saw a camera from close by in his life and he thought “cut” was a Dutch swear word, he got himself the job. …
Gentle_man_ thought it might be a good idea to dress up as a rabbit. The animals would feel more at ease, he would be able to get closer to them to film them (“lenses? Never heard of them!”) and the end result would be touching cinema. He would think as a rabbit and act as a rabbit. And that is when the real trouble began…… dressed up in his rabbit costume, armed with his camera Gentle_man_ went to the Dutch moorlands to film the life of rabbits. The rabbits were watching this new intruder enter their territory: was it a human? It didn’t look like one. Was it a wolf or a fox? No, it was walking on two feet only… All of a sudden, the oldest rabbit of the heep said: “He has returned.” All the younger rabbits (hundreds of them) asked: who is “He” and looked at Great Granddad Rabbit. GG Rabbit told the story of Rabbit God, a Giant Rabbit that was worshipped by all the rabbits of the moor. The Giant Rabbit sat motionless on a throne for days in a row, whilst all the rabbits brought him carrots and, if they got lucky, a turnip. One day, when all the rabbits were preparing themselves for a feast, the throne was empty. They looked for days, weeks… but the Giant Rabbit was gone. At that point, they swore an oath that if he ever were to return to the moorlands, they would never let him go again. He was too important for the community. They would guard him, they would perhaps even “cage” him. He was never to leave again.
And there he was, gentle_man_ dressed like a giant rabbit. Rumour has it gentle_man_ is still sitting motionless on a throne, with his personal Rabbit Guard consisting out of 5000 heavily armed rabbits (with teeth as sharp as razor blades). The broadcaster that would air the show decided to air a new talkshow instead, the television company making it has gone bankrupt. Gentle_man_ is kept prisoner by a large collection of bunnies… The question is: how long will he sit there? And, perhaps more importantly: who will our Dutchman talk to?
Posts
2 comments:
I would very much like to comment but my phone batteries are dead after all these days...and nothing else here to communicate with...so sorry
Bright Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyes!
Post a Comment