Hello Airfix_9
My name is Dr Michael Hfuhruhurr and I am the clinical director at the Shüffhausen Clinic for the Incurably Insane in the foothills of
Sipwell was admitted to our clinic on Saturday demonstrating symptoms of an advanced case of irrational panic. We are, at present, conducting tests on him but it is becoming apparent that he is suffering from Sondheiser Syndrome.
Sondheiser Syndrome affects the brain and leads the subject to utter one word repetitively, whilst in a form of stupour. In Sipwell’s case, the word is difficult to understand but Nurse Uumellmahaye informs me that she believes it to be “moustache”.
Frankly, this is a worrying time for Sipwell and we are working hard to stabilise him before embarking upon treatment. He is currently being held in an isolation ward which is sound-proofed so that our other patients can’t hear his continuous cries.
I know that you, as a friend of Sipwell, will be somewhat disturbed by his condition and would ask that you – and any others who may know him – pray for his very soul. Treatment can take some time and does involve attempting to return him to society at the earliest possible opportunity (frankly, we need the beds). Upon his return, you may notice occasional lapses back into the stupour state and I would ask that you be prepared for this and seek to calm and reassure him that all is well and that he is recovering nicely.
I shall write again when I have further information on his status.
Dr Michael Hfuhruhurr.
Frankly, I am not surprised by this letter as it confirms my worst-held fears. Our thoughts are with Sipwell at this distressing time. I will let you know more when I have it.
Might I suggest that we all join in a rousing chorus of "Kumbayah" in order to attempt to save his very soul?
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4 comments:
Poor sipwell. ;(
Airfix, did you write this letter by any chance? Because if sipwell is at that hospital for continuous muttering of "moustache", I would be there too :P
Haha. Quite nicely written especially to read on vacation!
I spoke to the good doctor and it seems like he's an expert in Münchhausen by proxy. He hasn't heard about a patient called piswell, but he has had a talk with a confused hairless englishman which let him to believe that a moustache would be required before he could start a treatment on this english disease. He pointed out that it was crusial not to confirm the English Patient in his disillusions.
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