Yo, yo, yo: listen to this!

Sipwell was for the last three weeks trying to write a blog post but was unable to because bad weather came to Sipwell-land and temperatures dropped way below the freezing point. Here is the story!

I was just in the process of writing a brilliant piece of work on a superb man – sipwell, obviously – when my fingers quite literally froze to my keyboard. I tried to tap “G” for Genius and my middle finger got stuck. Then I thought: let’s go for “F”. That key is right above the processor of my computer and is also a letter with a lot of possibilities: Fabulous, Fantastic, Freaking Phenomenal (in Dutch Phenomenal is “Fenomenaal” and my secretary translates my text, hence their poor quality qua grammar and word choice from time to time). Again: stuck! Two fingers already frozen to the keyboard… What to do?
As his personal motto is “try or die”, he continued this brave endeavour (and all of a sudden, for no good reason, starts to talk in third person. I feel like Julius Ceasar now). “B” for brilliant: stuck! Slight panick… what to do? Let’s go to the outskirts of my keyboard. “A” for attractive, attention-seeking (I consider that to be a positive characteristic, so shut up): stuck! Four fingers down, six to go. What to do, what to do?
I decided to give it a rest, to blow on my fingers to get them warm and lose again. It didn’t help. I started thinking how brilliant and fabulous and overloaded with qualities I was and felt a warm glow… it didn’t help though.
I basically sat there for days, surviving like somebody going to the North Pole with not enough to drink (you catch my drift, but as with everything I produce is of very high quality, this was too). Luckily I had food enough, because my laptop was located next to a especially for me designed “candybar” – with gummybears and jellyfish and whatever you have in massive quantities. I had the internet (the mouse was wearing a specially designed woollen cover), I had myself (more than enough for me basically). It wasn’t until last Tuesday when I was finally able to get my four fingers free. I gave them some rest and took the time to wait two days to compile this story. Phenomenal, is it not?

Still, it could have been far more worse. Look at what happened to Airfix_9 in his younger days. It was a very cold winter and mummy Airfix_9 had warned her not to go to the bathroom but to pee like boys pee. She wouldn’t have it, wanted to break the ice with her feet and got stuck to the toilet for a whole month. No wonder she later started a beauty parlour (with horrendous taste): she had a whole month of practice on mothers’ lipstick and the like. Also note the good use of a bathroom. A completely novel concept: don't use your bathtub as a means to improve your personal hygiene (who cares about that?)! Use it to store magazines and books you read five years ago but who might come in handy when your daughter decides to see what her chances are of being flushed! Their time well ahead, if you ask me.