A Clear Case of Discrimination

Well, it has been brought to our attention that we have been crass, rude, unnecessarily sarcastic, and just plain obnoxious...so thank you for the compliments.....
We have also been made aware that we have been discriminatory, this we can not accept. It is true that we have a great history of facial hair, and worshipping the great mustaches in history, especially the one Christine use to have (and still refuses to regrow)...perhaps she will in protest of Fulham outlawing the drum...



Beards come in many shapes and sizes, some cooler than others...





But yes, in all our rightful outpouring of love for mustaches, we have regrettably overlooked that other great option in men's facial furr, the beard. I am quite unsure how this has happened, but we will do everything in our powers to rectify the situation (see the end for more info there....and no, don't skip ahead).




History of the Beard
“A beard is the hair that grows on a man's chin, cheeks, and the area above the upper lip. It is also a sign of his awesomeness.

God invented the Beard in 293 BC when he blessed the previously beardless Moses The Inadequate with a stylish goatee that was later imitated by pirates, beatniks and Skeet Ulrich. Fully bearded and thus very virile, intelligent and as strong as an (bearded) ox, the newly christened "Moses The Bearded Destroyer of Hairless Men" undertook God's holy mission of ending the enslavement of the Jews by defeating the Evil Psychic Beardless Pharaoh in a game of air hockey.

Moses won the game without dropping a point. But he slew the Pharaoh anyway and led the Jews out of Egypt. He would later part the Red Sea (of Doom) by studiously stroking his magnificent goatee and praising The Beard of God. The Jews would spend 150 years in the wilderness worshipping and grooming Moses' goatee until he died at the grand old age of 6000 years old. His beard was five miles long and full of sandwiches and treasure. Sandwiches kick ass. But not as much as beards.

In recent years a group of Swedish scientists and their sexy redheaded assistants at the Gothenburg Institute have found undisputable scientific evidence that men with facial hair are wiser and more sexually potent than their beardless contemporaries. The group concluded that throughout history it has been proven categorically that the men with beards that have successfully toppled armies with nothing more than a twirling of the whiskers. They also discovered that it was the prehistoric bearded men who were the first to discover fire, by rubbing two sticks together and fanning the fragile flames with their humongous mutant beards. The bearded man went on to invent the wheel, create the broadsword and defeat the army of evil (beardless) dinosaurs that were trying to enslave mankind. He even taught dogs how to fetch. It is without doubt because of this that bearded men are afforded such high status throughout the universe.

Men who remain beardless are known to show a lack of cleanliness and refinement. In fact it is well known that man without a beard is prone to crankiness and often exhibits an eccentric disposition. Beardless men have a long and troubled history throughout the known universe that has dogged each and every one of them like the filthy blasphemous heretics that they are. Look at Michael Jackson.
All hail the awesomeness of The Beard! (Source:)

So, we here at Mt. Marx feel understandably terrible about this inexcusable oversight on our part, and as such, will launch a campaign to promote Beard Awareness….

In fact, this campaign has already begun. We have started to grow our own beards, and have included a few examples below….



Also, as a final step in our initiative to promote Beard Awareness, MB plans to add one lucky user to the team. Our search will therefore begin to find the PS user who exhibits the traits of the standard Marx Brother member, while sporting the coolest beard in PSland. We will have to rely on the wide reach of our blog, and the many great users of PS to help us find out who this person is (at this point we have no idea). So, your missions, should you choose to accept it, is to bring us the man with the truly Awesome beard, and bring him to us (or at minimum bring us the beard, and we’ll let it join). This great man will become the newest member of the brotherhood that is the Marx Brothers.

Good Luck in your mission, and Godspeed!


Here is an example of what we are looking for:

Damnit! I told you not to skip ahead....now go back and read it again....